Feel attractive and feminine

photo by Margaret Clemmer

Last week I enjoyed meeting up with a girlfriend I hadn’t seen for a year.  As we caught up on each other’s lives, our conversation inevitably turned to husbands and children.  In particular, I was struck by how she described her seven year-old daughter as a girly girl who loved everything pink, dresses, hairclips, dolls and four-legged animals.

My friend, a self-professed tomboy growing up and a highly capable IT project manager, was amazed (and frustrated) at how their different outlooks lead to frequent arguments.  What was going to happen when her daughter became a teenager?

This led me to the question:  Why do some women (or girls) feel and behave more feminine than others?  If you don’t feel feminine but want to, what can you do?

My research yielded this excellent article by Life Coach, Carol Chanel.  And I particularly like the following points

  1. All women are by definition feminine. We each have our personal definition of what feminine behavior is, but clearly it is a strategy we play either consciously or unconsciously to get what we want.
  2. You can look feminine by dressing a certain way. To feel feminine, you must accept who you are and acknowledge that you have both strengths and shortcomings.  There’s no judgment; it just is. With this acceptance comes a more relaxed, softer approach to life.
  3. It’s really hard to feel feminine when you’re stressed.  The need to command and control life at times brings out stereotypical masculine traits (aggression, authority, the need to be strong or to put up a façade).
  4. An easy tip to feel more feminine is to relax and smile. Release your tension in whatever ways feels good for you.  Ask for help.  Take a nap. Take time out to indulge in something you love.  Or dress up.  What then comes across to others is a woman who is comfortable in her own skin, comfortable in her own femininity.